And let’s not forget that I’m just a theme song word for word, but couldn’t for the life of me name ONE song from Kanye’s latest album. I mean, if I can manage to balance everything life throws my way while parenting an infant at my young age, I can certainly handle dating. Still, to sharpen my skills before heading into the trenches, I asked a few experts for advice on navigating the dating scene as a single 20-something mom. Sure, it used to seem like great fun to get tipsy and swipe right on potential hookups less than 10 miles away—20, if he or she is really hot—but apps like Tinder are more likely to land just that: A hookup and not a serious dating candidate.
“Swiping apps shouldn’t be your screening process for dates,” says Dr.
Stay focused on the kids.” And, as the saying goes, know how to pick and choose your battles.
“If you’re splitting your kids’ time between you, remember that what happens at your ex’s house is up to him or her, and what happens at your house is up to you, unless it’s a safety issue,” she says.
Of course, you can’t expect everyone you date to make a triple-digit income, or alleviate your own financial burdens.
“The key is to find someone who’s financially self sufficient, who can at the very least take care of him or herself without depending on you,” says Dr. If you had a child with someone you broke up with, learning how to co-parent will keep things positive and avoid any drama with new dating prospects who enter your life.But Winter strongly feels that less pressure will be placed on you and your S. if you leave it off of social media—at least in the early stages.“Keep your blossoming relationship out of the eyes of ‘friends’ on social media,” she advises.“Financial stability in a prospective partner is a clear indicator that her or his life is in order,” explains Winter.“You have enough going on by yourself—you don’t need the burden of falling for someone who can’t take care of him or herself.” Serious prospects should show a balance between earning and saving before you consider moving forward romantically.Not to mention that in the rare and precious moments I do have to myself, it feels like a major risk to spend that time with someone I might never see again rather than catching up with friends, reading, zoning out to Netflix, or, you know, sleeping.The men I’d normally take an interest in are often just starting their careers, still in undergrad, or staying out until 3AM every chance they get—whereas I’m living the opposite lifestyle, and as a party of two, not one. In spite of this barrage of challenges, I still have hope.“Don’t involve children in your dating life until you’re relatively sure the person is a long-term keeper,” says Dr. “I suggest single moms wait six to 12 months—that’s typically how long the ‘honeymoon phase’ lasts.” Holding off until then is a good way to minimize the risk of your child getting attached too soon.“Parents don’t always realize that when you go through a breakup, your child goes through it, too,” Dr. Silva says you should also consider how involved your partner will be willing to be after meeting your child.“When we’re young, we don’t have a ton of life experience,” says Dr. “Not all 20-something’s are that way, but it does take a while for women to figure out who we are as a person, and develop the strength to assert ourselves and make good boundaries and know who – and what – we want.” Bottom line: Figuring out who you are is something you owe yourself, and something that will help you find a more suitable partner in the future.It can be tempting to vent on Facebook about how stubborn an ex is being, or share how happy you are in if you’ve found a relationship with someone new.