Dating agengies

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He started drinking heavily when he moved to his parents’ farm, with which they requested his help, and I stayed in the county where we both had lived. He also says he doesn’t know why he does it and that he hates himself for it. No, but I feel drugs and alcohol are very different.I didn’t see it developing, had no experience with alcoholism. When I met him 3 years ago, he had been clean for 5 years. He was away most of the week for work and stated all week that he just wanted to be home with me. He knew how I felt about that before we became engaged an promised me it would never happen. I also have a hard time buying it that this is a disease.

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My highest priority is taking care of our children and raising them to be healthy which, of course, means becoming healthier myself. Last night we talked for a good hour and he basically said that he does not want to stop drinking and that I need to decide if I want to stay married to him that I would have to accept his drinking and not nag him cause it causes him anxiety and stress. Today I found him bitter, angry and severely depressed after him drinking 6 beers while I was at work. A part of me thinks I should leave and the other part of me wants to stay. if someone will leave you because your an addict or if you will leave someone because they are an addict then there was never love, just lust. but the addict did not choose to addicted I have been married for over 9 years to an opiate addict.

Kyzcy Hawk ‘s recent blog post led me here and I am so glad. You are volunteering, growing spiritually, and taking responsibility for your actions. We fight constantly, we fight about our pasts and his affairs. Ive been on both sides amazingly and addiction can actually be a good thing to make your 2 halves a whole. He was not an addict when we married or when we had our son.

Everyday you balance the role of mother and lover, depending on his mood and needs. When he is upset or angry – you stop everything to take care of him. A part of you loves to feel needed., to pick up the pieces for him hoping to get some recognition and an apology. But if you want different results you must start making different choices. When you start setting healthy boundaries your self-esteem will improve.

It’s important to remember your dreams and So, let’s agree that we are not going to focus on staying or leaving because we both know that it’s just not that simple.

We got engaged and I thought the heavy drinking would slow when we married and I moved to the farm, with intentions to buy it and provide for his family. Eventually, I learned to see the codependency in his family and we moved, after eight years, a few miles away. I have spent hours in counseling and attend Al-Anon meetings. I would love to send you my program FOR FREE called Love Over Addiction. Look at how something that seemed so bad turned out to be a blessing. I didn’t even know he was addicted to anything, After a couple weeks of seeing him, he told me of his past. He gets away from work today and you would think he would hurry home to me, but nope, he went and bought crack and got high. i work my butt of for it and I can’t have it because he spends alot of money on crack. (He works in the business) but we barely save anything because he spends about $400.00 -$600.00 everytime he goes. My father was an alcoholic and I couldn’t stand that.. To me a disease is something that just happens to you beyond your control.

I am finishing a college course on alcohol and other addictions. It has every tool, technique and helpful tip I learned in therapy, al anon, research and meeting with top rehabilitation facilities. Michelle Lisa Anderson Michelle, I’d very much like to read/listen/learn your work. I am taking the semester off of class to clarify some financial things and work out aid details. He also told me that he would NEVER let himself get back into his addiction again, I was so Naive to the drug world that I believed him. Now he is angry with me because “I have an attitude”. I grew up in an unstable home becuase of my father and now I have to deal with my husband’s addiction. Addiction to alcohol or drugs is a choice that they made. I suggest that you speak with an addictions counselor to sort out your feelings and to create a plan.I would not ever question staying or leaving if I did not have a son with this man.I have no love or respect left for him and probably never will but, I do not want to hurt my son. Comment below and provide your email for a chance to win Michelle’s Love Over Addiction program. It is so difficult to watch the man you love slowly kill himself. How could you walk away from the man you know he can become? You have family and friends telling you to leave him and asking you, “How can you put up with that? You can’t leave him because you are still protecting him. If you are asking yourself when to leave an addict, the answer might be that it’s time for you to get help.You love him deeply and the idea of ever leaving him seems almost impossible. You still pick up after him, do his laundry, make his appointments. Forgive yourself for not doing what everyone is telling you to do, and stay with him. But if you ever want to be able to feel some sense of self worth you must start your own recovery and end co-addiction. His drinking and drug use is not just his issue to solve. You are not alone and there is hope for a bright, joyful future.I do my own thing, just earned my associates and am working on my bachelors, I also work two jobs and take care of my 8 year old.The only enabling I do is not throwing him out on his but, I do not dwell on what he does and doesn’t do, I think about it but, I never let it stop me from what I want in life and who I want to be.Please leave your story or questions about living with an addicted husband below.We’ll do our best to respond to you personally and promptly.So many men who have graduated from there have been clean and sober for many years. I am so very happy and see a major change in my husband after only 35 days.He will be there until May 11th, when he graduates.


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