Evan, I have been reading a lot of different dating advice websites, especially the ones written for MEN.I have noticed a trend in telling men to get the women to chase THEM.3) I am married and in an incredible relationship because I followed my own advice.
In this incarnation of my dating life I have decided that I am not going to chase men.
(In my younger days I admit that I did, and no good ever came of it.) This time around I absolutely I will not chase men, nor be baited into chasing one.
(Ask Men is one example) I see a lot of advice to women about why men disappear, what to do when they disappear, etc., but it seems that men are being COACHED to disappear, as a power play, a way to get the upper hand, and to get the woman to chase THEM.
So if women are being coached to play hard to get, and men are playing the same game, what does this mean for male/female relationships?
It doesn’t seem to us that your expectations are at all realistic. Instead, our experience is that you have to be feeling “chemistry” on the first date (which has little to do with looks) or there just won’t be a second date.
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This despite the fact that YOU are the ones who have your guard up when we meet for the first time.Let’s just say I had considerable practice in online dating, dating and relationships.Many people who give dating advice have been married for 30 years and don’t know anything about dating.I don’t view the world based on how I’d LIKE it to be; I pay attention to how it IS and advise on how you can best react to reality. Would I rather tell you the truth or validate your worldview so that you don’t shoot the messenger? People come here because they expect to be told the truth, rather than some rah-rah “all women are goddesses” bullshit that I don’t believe and I don’t expect you to believe. Just as real men don’t play games, use power plays, or try to get the woman to chase them.Unless you believe the equivalent bullshit that “all men are noble studs”. Now that I’m done tooting my own horn, let’s refocus on the advice you’ve chosen to cite, from Ask I just went to Alexa to check out the site’s demographics. The target audience for Ask Men is men 18-24, men without children, and men who live at home or are in school. This is run-of-the-mill pick-up artist advice for awkward teens, not advice that 40-year-old men and women are expected to utilize.And if you know what you’re doing, it doesn’t impact you one iota if some guy is running a game on you. At the end of the day, whether it’s a man playing games or a woman playing games, one thing is for sure: everybody ends up losing.Guys who play games just eliminate themselves from dating confident, secure women. As a guy who is actively looking for a relationship with the right woman (and who is on Match) and who is cute, successful, in shape, socially adept, and a nice guy (not to mention modest), I have a perspective on this that might be helpful to the women out there.The reason why there is so much advice out there for guys is because, well, women can be hard to date.Or at least it sure seems that way to most of us guys.So we wonder what the hell that it is that you women are looking for. If you are finding dating to be frustrating, are you really giving the guys you meet a fair shot?I’m an unabashed fan of Doc Love, even though sometimes he seems to be a few years behind the times. He’s a pretty old guy, so stuff like Internet dating and text messaging are a lot newer for him than for the rest of us.