From friends to dating advice

For example, my biggest turn on is someone with vocal talent-specifically impersonations.If you can do a really good Kermit imitation, I'm yours.

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Imagine you meet someone that you're not attracted to. Then the relationship is based on personal compatibility, not just sexual chemistry. Grace Cornish avers that romances that begin as friendships are more likely to succeed: "You're always kind to your friend. There's no respect if you become possessive and controlling." "If you have a genuine friendship, you're not going to pretend to be someone you're not so a person can marry you.I know that eventually falling for a guy or girl who likes you but has opted for the friendship consolation prize can work, but two people who originally aren't attracted are a lot less likely to get together. I am living proof that you can indeed be friends first. Non-romantic friendship turned into something more. Something more has turned into 25 wonderful years and a beautiful family. We not only deeply love each other, we LIKE each other. I agree with you completely and Kim's article made me very angry - just because *she* has never had a ''friends first'' relationship doesn't mean it's impossible.In most cases I've seen, one partner has hidden their attraction, whether from the start or after a failed courting attempt, and has been biding their time. And that's the benefit of a foundation of true friendship! I myself fell in love with a guy, and it started with just a friendship, I didn't find him at all attractive when we first met.Let's act like we're "just friends" even though we're really dating.This all sorta misses Eric Berne's point that "the essence of friendship is that there is no active Parental ego state under ordinary conditions.I'll be "friendly," but a real friendship requires some level of honesty and ease.I know some people are capable of masking their true feelings, a la Joey Potter, but that's just not in my nature.Then later, as some times goes by, suddenly, you begin to notice all these fantastic qualities about them that you didn't know existed, and boom! You're looking for your friend to get ahead by looking out for his best interest. Some people are on their best behavior until they cross the threshold. But your true nature will surface when you're a person's friend first.When you're true friends from the beginning, you don't have to pretend." I don't disagree with anything Cornish says, but why does she make it seem like honesty, kindness and respect are only inherent in friendships, not in romance?I also have friends who don't share their different friend circles, for fear of social miscegenation.Also, everyone has had or been a "bad friend" at some point in their lives, right?

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