Hilarious dating adds

hilarious dating adds-4
Feel free to share some you might have seen/read as well."Bitter, unsuccessful middle aged loser wallowing in an unending sea of inert, drooping loneliness looking for 24 year old needy leech-like hanger-on to abuse with dull stories, tired sex and Herb Alpert albums. " "I like eating mayonnaise and peanut butter sandwiches in the rain, watching Barney Miller reruns, peeing on birds in the park and licking strangers on the subway; you eat beets raw, have climbed Kilimanjaro, and sweat freely and often. Let me know soon." "Young farmer with 100 acres would be pleased to hear from young lady with tractor.

Feel free to share some you might have seen/read as well."Bitter, unsuccessful middle aged loser wallowing in an unending sea of inert, drooping loneliness looking for 24 year old needy leech-like hanger-on to abuse with dull stories, tired sex and Herb Alpert albums. " "I like eating mayonnaise and peanut butter sandwiches in the rain, watching Barney Miller reruns, peeing on birds in the park and licking strangers on the subway; you eat beets raw, have climbed Kilimanjaro, and sweat freely and often. Let me know soon." "Young farmer with 100 acres would be pleased to hear from young lady with tractor.

Baby, you are my Tijuana Taxi." "Me -- trying to sleep on the bus station bench, pleading with you to give me a cigarette; you -- choking on my odor, tripping over your purse trying to get away; at the last moment, our eyes meeting. Must wear size five shoes." "There is a little place in the jumbled sock drawer of my heart where you match up all the pairs, throw out the ones with holes in them, and buy me some of those neat dressy ones with the weird black and red geometrical designs on them." "Morbidly overweight, seriously competitive computer gamer with creative genius wrt online persona... Anyway, I gotta go take a ****, so I'll just wait for you ladies to respond. Please send photograph of tractor." And my favorite so far....

seeking svelte, kinky sex vixen for impossible fantasy roleplay. Sure, her **** drag on the carpet till her nipples bleed and she had to lift them and her belly out of the way just to sit down, but she's beautiful. "SINGLE BLACK FEMALE seeks male companionship, ethnicity unimportant. I love long walks in the woods, riding in your pickup truck, hunting, camping and fishing trips, cozy winter nights lying by the fire.

Some willingness to assist with basic bodily functions required." "MWM, 73, looking for SWF 18-35 for an intimate encounter with my wife and myself in a threesome. The things she does with her teeth are out of this world, too, especially when their in her mouth. Candlelight dinners will have me eating out of your hand.

I'll be at the front door when you get home from work, Call (xxx) xxx-xxxx and ask for Daisy." Note: The ad above turned out to be an adoption offer for a black labrador retriever 8 week female from the Atlanta humane Society.

It had 15,000 calls from men all over the country!!!!

"SINGLE BLACK FEMALE seeks male companionship, ethnicity unimportant. I love long walks in the woods, riding in your pickup truck, hunting, camping and fishing trips, cozy winter nights lying by the fire." "Possibly the last person you want to be stood next to at a house-party you’ve been dragged along to by a friend who wants to get off with the flatmate of the guy whose birthday it is. It makes me appear more attractive and personable than I actually am.With you, however, I’m going to be a belligerent old shit from the very beginning.It seems like these nine funny singles took things a little bit too far.Here are nine examples of how NOT to word your phone chat welcome message.Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick!Some forums can only be seen by registered members.Like it has been said before, for a woman, if she’s attractive to a guy and offers nice company, she’s good to go.If it was a guy saying he was looking for a good looking girl to drive around him, prepare him candlelight dinners, etc. Well if he had a post appealing to females, he might get as much attention...Over the years there have been countless thousands of daft, silly and downright hilarious personals postings for love and we've found a few from the Internet and complied them here for your enjoyment!A report indicates that email relationships can be far more intimate than normal dating.

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