and every moment you’re unhappy you push the guy further and further away.When you let go of the idea that you need things to work out a certain way, then you cut off that poisonous negative cycle.
I tried to be there for him but he totally withdrew and would reject my advances and we started fighting a lot because of it.
He told me he loves me, but felt like I was smothering him and he needed to find himself.
That doesn’t mean I think the person “probing” is a bad person or that they have a bad intent. I do want the woman I’m with to be OK though; I don’t want her to worry or be upset.
It’s more like I don’t want to feel exposed and vulnerable while I’m already in pain. And I don’t want her to see me as anything less than the man that I aspire to be – the man that I am when I’m at my best.
I told him I would give him space while he figured things out but he said he couldn’t ask me to do that.
I asked if there was a chance for us once he got things sorted and he said he isn’t sure if he sees a future. I remember, years ago, when I was extremely unhappy with my job and a few other areas of my life.
At the heart of it, it’s the feeling of fear of loss.
When you believe that you could lose something, you’ll instinctively shrink inside and it will take the wind out of your sails.
Moreover, it’s in your best interest to live your life in a way that brings you happiness in your moment-to-moment existence without effort…
and abandon any perspective or pursuit that has you feeling crappy in your moment-to-moment experience in service of some imagined better future.