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Rae tells me she’s an aromantic asexual, Sean identifies as a heteroromantic demisexual, and Genevieve sees herself as a panromantic gray-asexual. Gray-asexuals (or gray-aces) roam the gray area between absolute asexuality and a more typical level of interest.
It started as a repository of information about all things asexual. But for some people, the idea of being completely and entirely asexual still didn’t quite fit.
When forums were added a year later, members started trickling in. The word seems to have come into being on an AVEN forum on February 8, 2006.
They don’t necessarily describe fixed identities but serve more as beacons for people to locate each other online.
While the rest of the world was using the web to invent and gratify new pervy thrills, these people used it as a wormhole out of a relentlessly sexual culture.
It might be the only corner of the Internet that is not laced with porn.
So although labels are a big part of it, demisexuals and gray-aces don’t get too caught up in the lingo.
“My partner is sexually attracted to that many people during particularly sexy bus rides.”Beyond that, there’s a lot of variability. “It has no relationship to your actual desire to have sex with someone in real life,” she says.
Some demis and gray-aces have occasional flare-ups of desire, some say they’re indifferent to sex, and others find the thought of it repellent. More from the WIRED Sex Issue: The Sex Talk You Never Had With Your Parents Japanese Sex Hotels Cater to All Kinds of Fetishes, Even Hello Kitty S&MVirtual-Reality Porn Is Coming, and Your Fantasies May Never Be the Same Some demisexuals say they have strong sexual urges that just don’t connect to anyone in particular.
Sex is “fascinating from a clinical point of view, but personally? “I have better things to do with my time.”The conventional wisdom today is that lust and gratification are natural and healthy, a nonnegotiable aspect of being human.
We presume that freedom of sexuality is a fundamental human right.