Validating or validation dating victorian england
Just being present, paying complete attention to the person in a nonjudgmental way, is often the answer.Level Five is normalizing or recognizing emotional reactions that anyone would have.Understanding that your emotions are normal is helpful for everyone.Practice is the key to making validation a natural part of the way you communicate. Your best friend is upset because her husband cut up her credit card. Probably Level 2 is the highest level you could use.She says he's treating her like a child and is so controlling she doesn't have room to breathe. You could say, "I understand, you are upset because your husband cut up your credit cards without your agreement--that made you feel like he was acting like your parent." You reflect her thoughts and emotions back to her, showing that you accept those feelings as her internal experience.Some may not be clear about what they are feeling because they weren't allowed to experience their feelings or learned to be afraid of their feelings.People may mask their feelings because they have learned that others don't react well to their sensitivity.People vary in their ability to know their own feelings.For example, some confuse anxiety and excitement and some confuse excitement and happiness.Learning how to use validation effectively takes practice. Being present means giving all your attention to the person you are validating.Knowing the six levels of validation as identified by Marsha Linehan, Ph. Being present for yourself means acknowledging your internal experience and sitting with it rather than "running away" from it, avoiding it, or pushing it away. Even happiness or excitement can feel uncomfortable at times.